Saturday, May 12, 2012

If I'm Not Your Lover, Then I Don't Wanna Be Your Friend...

     Somewhere near the end of my civilian contract in Saudi, I started feeling ill.  It was unusual for me because I never even remember having the flu in my adult life.  To that point, I hadn't even been sick enough to miss work.  The most drastic illness that I recall is the basic common cold.  Nothing more.  I told HER that I was feeling a little weak and I thought I was catching the flu or something.  It was funny because I had just talked to HER about how healthy I had been throughout life.  I naturally assumed that it was the flu; I had nothing to compare it to.  We still talked but not as much.  I really wasn't feeling good.  However, I wasn't sneezing or coughing or had any other typical symptom.  We have talked after this incident and I said if ever I don't want to get of with HER, then SHE will know I am sick.  I began cutting conversations short and feeling even weaker.  SHE got irritated at me and SHE thought I just didn't want to talk to HER.  SHE got fussy and argued with me over it.  I didn't have the energy to argue back.  I am sure SHE felt rejected.  SHE told me off in messages and it was around that time that I just couldn't concentrate on anything.  Again we stopped talking.  I hadn't gone to the hospital yet because I felt it was just the flu in passing.  Then, I was scared of what was wrong with me.  I flew back to the states and, after about two weeks, I got to the point where I couldn't walk.  Oh my gosh; am I dying?  Now I was too scared to find out what was wrong.  I was just laying in my room wasting away.  Thank GOD one of my sisters found out about my condition and dialed 911.  This is where my other upcoming EBOOK - http://rickysnewbook.blogspot.com/ - starts so I won't go into crazy detail about my hospital experience here.  The paramedics were let into my room.  They hoisted me onto a stretcher and I was rolled out to an ambulance.  It was all so surreal.  Nothing like this had ever happened to me before.  I never rode in an ambulance.  I got admitted into the hospital and laid out in the hallway.  It seemed like an eternity.  I wasn't in any pain but I was weak as crap.  What on earth could be wrong with me?  It had been a month since we talked by the time 911 was called.  I missed HER voice but I didn't have a phone to call HER.  Plus I had a steep battle ahead of me.  She didn't even know that I was hospitalized.  Will I recover from whatever is wrong with me?  Will we ever talk again?  This turned out to be trial number two...

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