I didn't let the whole over seas experience be tainted because of my ordeal with visa issues and the embassy. It felt good to get back to the states; not only that but to be back in my hometown. I had been traveling from place to place for the past few years so I didn't have a place of my own there. However, I did have family that was eager to get me home in one piece and put me up during this adjustment. One of my older sisters graciously allowed me to stay with her while I was job hunting. I knew that while living there, I would not be able to talk as much and as openly with HER. That part sucked and I was hoping that we would be able to manage. I hadn't been home for about six years so it was exciting to see everyone and reconnect. As excited as I was, I still had a lot of work to do and my personal relationship wasn't where i wanted it to be. I never doubted the fact that I would find a job. I have been blessed with the opportunity to learn a trade in the military that is very marketable in the 'real world'. I just didn't knw where I would end up. The fact that I didn't have roots was starting to wear thin on me. Plus SHE lived on the other side of the country. We had begun talking of HER coming out for a visit. I was looking forward to that and was hoping for the best. I also was hoping that SHE would go ahead and drop her worst half. The psychology of an unhealthy relationship will never be understood by a clear and sain mind. Still we were not expressing the feelings that we were having for each other. There's no way that I was going to let my guard down now after SHE said SHE was still married. I was waiting for HER to leave him. We still talked and had sexy time together through video chatting and the telephone. It is really really good with HER. SHE has the natural ability to stimulate my mind and body. SHE told me that I did the same for HER so it was mutual satisfaction at it's best. At this point neither one of us mentioned the word LOVE. We were just seriously starting to talk about meeting in person. I think the fact that we couldn't talk as much and as in depth started to get to both of us. I must admit that I wasn't thrilled about it. SHE had become very important to me and I was falling for HER. As dangerous as it is to fall for a married woman, I couldn't help it because it was too late. Besides there's no way, no way that a sensible and strong minded woman like HER would stay with a douche bag...right? I mean SHE has to know that SHE is worth way more than he will EVER give HER the respect and credit for. Then, one day we had an argument. As in most cases, I even forget what the argument was about now. I think it was more out of frustration and mental exhaustion. SHE went for my jugular and hurt my pride and feelings. SHE asked for HER money back. I was definitely planning to give HER money back and I was gracious for HER generosity. It was bad timing and the way SHE asked highly offended me so the conversation to a turn for the worse. I don't think there's anything that me and that WOMAN could do without passion. You should see us together. I think we compliment each other physically and emotionally. It feels good when we are together but I am getting ahead of myself. We get off the phone with a bunch of F yous and don't talk to me ever agains and that was that. I felt horrible about it and I felt lonely without HER loving and support. Family does not take the place of a lover no matter how good they are to you. But, we stopped talking and I had a job to land. I wondered if we would ever talk again....
No comments:
Post a Comment