Preparing To Go Home...

     During the whole process of going back home, I couldn't talk to HER as much as I wanted to.  I didn't have a consistent internet connection so phone calls were next to impossible.  We did start videoing a little bit before I left and I thought SHE looked juicy!  Nice skin and curves; damn, I wanted to be with HER.  I had to minimize luggage to make the transit easier so I left hundreds of perfectly good DVDs of the latest movies and clothing to include military memorabilia.  I hated to but I had no choice.  I slimmed it down to one suitcase.  I figured that all of those material things could be replaced.  We talked when we could and I really missed HER.  I got to the embassy and they were less than hospitable.  They were a little rude there and the room they put me in was like a closet.  I might have some pictures somewhere.  If I do, then I will dig them out.  I was at their mercy so I couldn't make a fuss.  I didn't have money for the plane ticket so they bought my ticket and I signed a promissory note to pay them back.  I ended up waiting there for several days while the paperwork went through.  We have gone through so much together.  This is just one example.

I think more so than SHE had with HER husband.  But again, I will discuss the rest later.  I get emotional sometimes and I am okay with that fact.  I am glad I am not an unfeeling robot.  People like that scare me because they are like a powder keg just waiting to explode.  I am every bit of a man as the next guy; more so than others.  People have different perceptions on what a man should be and how he should act.  A man shouldn't show emotions or feelings.  A man shouldn't want or need companionship or loving from his partner.  And so forth and so on...  I think it's sad if the general consensus is that your male partner shouldn't show you the love and affection that you need.  That doesn't sound like a man to me.  That sounds like a non-caring asshole.  I am every bit of a man and I show my emotions in a way that is true to my person.  I will tell you that I love you and kiss you and hug you.  It's natural and healthy to have feelings and compassion for others.  It's very UNHEALTHY not to.  I want YOU to be as healthy as possible.  I want YOU to grow as a person.  I want YOU to go to school.  I want YOU to be more successful than me.  I want YOU to have my baby.  I want YOU to be around.  It sucks when I see something and wish YOU were there because it reminds me of YOU and what we should be....