Hmmmmm....

     After I was living alone, I could talk to HER whenever I wanted.  It was great!  Since we lived on different continents, HER night was my day and my day was HER night.  During this time, I wasn't working so I was burning up my savings.  My plan was to come back over here to give the relationship with my ex a chance and find a job.  I don't play games with people because I believe in KARMA.  What you do to others will soon come back on you in a very negative way.  And because I am not a screwed up person who would take someone and use them.  Well, we now know that relationship went south and all of the American companies wanted me to apply for a visa in the U.S.  Damn, I'm a silly boy to think that a woman can be responsible and honest and trust her with my innermost feelings, and most importantly, my heart.  The whole apply-in-the-U.S. thing was out because my tourist visa had expired.  So I was stuck in this foreign land and time was running out.  I still talked to HER a lot.  I don't like making people feel unwanted or used or bad because I'm having things go rough for me.  I would message HER while she was at work.  SHE excited me in many ways; not just sexually, and I wasn't afraid to let HER know.  Everything was clicking with HER.  We have a lot in common with just enough differences to make it interesting.  Still, to this point, I never told HER how I was feeling.  I never should have cause, as I found out, SHE would use it against me.  I had wanted to keep my distance to protect myself.  I had been in enough relationships to appreciate all of the good things that were developing between us.  It was still early on and we hadn't met.  I would hear this over and over and over for the next few years.  I was trying to keep things in perspective.  I enjoyed knowing HER and talking to HER and thoughts of future things did pop into my head.  The time kept rolling by.  The more time that had passed the more intimate and descriptive our conversations got.  I always wanted a woman that I could be completely open with.  So what happens next???  I want to see HER and hold HER and make love to HER and wipe all of those tears and problems away.  I don't think SHE gets it.