Im ONLY Human...

     Yes I have heard EVERYTHING that SHE has told me and I understand all of HER ups and downs and setbacks; that being said...  Maybe one of the most difficult situations that could possibly come up in life is the severing or dismantling of a personal relationship or marriage.  I get it.  I have been there and done that.  YOU have to decide for yourself exactly what YOU will allow in a lifetime partner and what exactly YOU need and want in life to be truly happy.  Just surviving or co-existing does in no way, shape, or form land anywhere near HAPPY.  I, for the life of me, can't understand how a person will have standards and expectations of what they want in their life and, when it's time to act, fall short of that and convince themselves that it's okay due to the lack of emergency.  We continued to talk and, in my mind, I continued to question HER goals of completely severing HER marriage.  A blind man could see that SHE wasn't happy.  Any self-respecting person couldn't possibly stand for such emotional and mental abuse from a spouse, under no circumstances.  If the plan that YOU set forth isn't going to produce your desired goals in a reasonable amount of time, then YOU need to change YOUR game plan.  I truly care for HER but I am not an idiot; although, actions sometimes prove otherwise.  Not working at all or working part time hours, especially with slightly above average medical needs, will not allow HER to realistically move out on HER own.  So that tells me that SHE has no plans to do so.  I'm not saying that it has to happen over night but there's no plan to chnge it at all.  I would think that a very NECESSARY divorce is important enough to make drastic changes if that is what is required.  Are YOU any closer to divorce and supporting yourself than YOU were a year ago or even six months ago?  If SHE doesn't understand how the way SHE makes HER moves or doesn't make any moves affects someone that SHE claims is special and that SHE loves, then SHE's not living in reality.  It affects everything from how I might react from not talking X amount of days to not sexing for X amount of days.  Or atleast how all of that affects me.  Actions generally speak louder than words.  I put trust into what SHE said and then look up after six months or a year later and NADA.  What is SHE really doing?  Will stuff like that drift into a relationship in other ways?  Of course it will and has.  Possibly the cause of unnecessary disagreements or disputes, possibly the cause of random hurt feelings or possibly the cause of feeling distant or uninterest.  I have had many, many heart to heart conversations about past and present desires and needs, not to mention experiences, and nothing about HER current marriage lines up with anything that SHE wants.  Now throw in the fact that sexualadvances go seemingly unnoticed or with zero response.  NOT so much as a I HEARD THAT YOU WANT ME AND I WANT YOU TOO I'M NOT IN THE MOOD TODAY BUT WE WILL DO IT SOON.  Or SORRY I WAS TIRED AND I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID & I WANT YOU TOO SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?  Things have gone through my mind over and over.  Sometimes not as frequently as others.  SHE told me that SHE wasn't feeling sexual but there were no attempt to solve the problem.  I would think that if YOU were in a DEAD END relationship or marriage and YOU found someone that became special and loved by YOU...  You would do everything in YOUR power to ease anydoubts about YOUR emotional and sexual interest in them or where those two things were focused.

One Bad Apple...

     So we did it!  We met for the first time in our sign-of-the-times relationship.  I enjoyed every minute of it and I am looking forward to the next time.  We have had some disagreements and, to no surprise, they usually centered on HER dead marriage.  It seems so simple.  Walk away from it and start over with a certain freshness and hope for a beautiful future.  OR stay and know that YOU will never be truly happy or loved like you need to be.  Simple!  I had endured a misguided marriage and I gave it a second shot.  As soon as it was over then it was over.  We ended it and it was the best decision.  How sad would it be to be in a relationship and know that you will never be happy?  Not to mention, knowing that you will be cheated on until death do you part.  Anyway, work was getting more familiar and I was finding my way around town a little easier.  We still talked on the phone and skyped.  It was a little different after having met HER; different in a good way.  I really enjoyed the way HER body naturally fit when we were in the cuddle position.  It was perfect! HER curves landed right where they needed to be.  SHE felt really good up against me and in my arms.  I was going to fly HER down to see me right around my birthday.  The fact that SHE was still in the same house with that dumb ass was getting to me.  We opened a new chapter to our relationship yet SHE hadn’t severed all ties with dipshit.  I sometimes wondered how many guys at work he probably told how he was disrespecting HER repeatedly and how many guys at his job either knew or have helped him pull off some of his gutter-fied, dumpster diving, trailer park trashy encounters?  You know most men that accomplish what is thought of as something that most men would love to do have to have to brag about it.  SICKENING!  So naturally I did feel sorry for HER because how sad.  Most of the time, I think that SHE is living in denial.  Somehow SHE thinks because he paid the bills that he needed to pay in order for himself to live comfortably too, She misconstrues the fact that he can be and still is a jackass.  I still had strong feelings for HER but I started to feel that all of my love and desire might have an expiration date if SHE doesn’t wise up and make actually moves to divorce.  Something made HER hesitant and it’s not logic or reality.  I think he must have drilled it in HER head that SHE couldn’t survive without him.  Well I think SHE is a smart woman so there is no way that SHE will stand for that kind of disrespect and outright humiliation.  I tried to help HER remember that SHE was pretty and desirable every chance that I could.  I tried to boost HER self-esteem.  It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know what has happened in HER marriage.  I can tell by the way SHE responds to adversity and how SHE reacts when things don’t go as planned.  PRINCESS I wish I could take all of that hurt away but I can’t.  All I can do is try my best to make you feel good and smile knowing that there is a better way to life.  Some days we talked, SHE would be cheerful and others, SHE would be down.  Ok it was getting closer to our next meeting.  I wanted to go panty shopping with HER if possible and just love on HER.  PRINCESS there is a man that will love YOU, want YOU, and show YOU. 

Come Again.....

     Wow!  I had a great time having some quality face time with my PRINCESS.  I was pleasantly surprised by HER backside.  SHE had always downplayed it to me but I find it quite nice to grab and spank.  I couldn’t and didn’t want to keep my hands off of HER the whole weekend.  After all of that teasing and dirty talk, I was ready for some lovin.  We had some good conversations and laughs just like we did over the phone.  I love the way that SHE kisses and when SHE goes for my neck and ears, it drives me crazy.  So we met and I would have to say that it went better than either of us could have imagined.  Good stuff!  The morning that I was going to leave, we cuddled up and loved on each other until it was time to get ready.  After we got ready and went downstairs to HER truck, we sat there for a little while because we had some extra time.  SHE looked so pretty and sexy sitting in HER seat.  If SHE was trying to tempt me to miss my flight, it was working.  We smooched a little more and then it was off to the airport.  We hugged and kissed goodbye almost at the exact same spot where we had met for the first time.  I called HER after I checked in and traveled to my gate.  I definitely enjoyed my trip and couldn’t wait to see HER again.  I boarded my flight headed back home after our sexy rendezvous.  When I got back home it was Sunday evening.  I found my truck, paid my parking fee, and headed to my house.  I had to work in the morning so I didn’t have too much extra time to spare.  I let HER know that I made it home okay and then I got some rest before falling asleep.  We talked and agreed that next time we meet up, SHE comes to see me.  We were thinking around Thanksgiving which is also around the time of my birthday.  Roughly about every 8 years, Thanksgiving falls on my birthday.  I thought that was cool since I found out.  Where’s this all headed?  I really don’t know right now.  SHE needs to make some firm decisions and roll with them…