What A View...

     As I am reflecting on my troubles over seas and the initial solid foundation of our relationship, I must take a moment to say HER ass is nice!  It's not the biggest or roundest or whatever-est but it is PERFECT for me.  There's a song about it.  I like to joke and tease HER about it and no it's not 'Baby Got Back' by Sir Mix-A-Lot (if you haven't heard that one then download it).  If you dare guess and get it right, then I will give you my two up coming ebooks for free!  We have lost contact a couple of times for different reasons and, as soon as I got a chance, I looked for HER.  This time was no different.  From the period of time when I traveled to the embassy to the time I got situated at home, we didn't talk because I didn't have access to a phone.  It felt good to be back home.  I have been fortunate enough to travel to different countries and it has been exciting and fun.  But I must say... GOD bless the USA! 

Preparing To Go Home...

     During the whole process of going back home, I couldn't talk to HER as much as I wanted to.  I didn't have a consistent internet connection so phone calls were next to impossible.  We did start videoing a little bit before I left and I thought SHE looked juicy!  Nice skin and curves; damn, I wanted to be with HER.  I had to minimize luggage to make the transit easier so I left hundreds of perfectly good DVDs of the latest movies and clothing to include military memorabilia.  I hated to but I had no choice.  I slimmed it down to one suitcase.  I figured that all of those material things could be replaced.  We talked when we could and I really missed HER.  I got to the embassy and they were less than hospitable.  They were a little rude there and the room they put me in was like a closet.  I might have some pictures somewhere.  If I do, then I will dig them out.  I was at their mercy so I couldn't make a fuss.  I didn't have money for the plane ticket so they bought my ticket and I signed a promissory note to pay them back.  I ended up waiting there for several days while the paperwork went through.  We have gone through so much together.  This is just one example.

I think more so than SHE had with HER husband.  But again, I will discuss the rest later.  I get emotional sometimes and I am okay with that fact.  I am glad I am not an unfeeling robot.  People like that scare me because they are like a powder keg just waiting to explode.  I am every bit of a man as the next guy; more so than others.  People have different perceptions on what a man should be and how he should act.  A man shouldn't show emotions or feelings.  A man shouldn't want or need companionship or loving from his partner.  And so forth and so on...  I think it's sad if the general consensus is that your male partner shouldn't show you the love and affection that you need.  That doesn't sound like a man to me.  That sounds like a non-caring asshole.  I am every bit of a man and I show my emotions in a way that is true to my person.  I will tell you that I love you and kiss you and hug you.  It's natural and healthy to have feelings and compassion for others.  It's very UNHEALTHY not to.  I want YOU to be as healthy as possible.  I want YOU to grow as a person.  I want YOU to go to school.  I want YOU to be more successful than me.  I want YOU to have my baby.  I want YOU to be around.  It sucks when I see something and wish YOU were there because it reminds me of YOU and what we should be....

 

Coming Clean...

     I was nervous about what SHE would think of me and if SHE would actually believe my story.  I mean come on, who do you know that overstayed their visa and was trapped in another country?  At this point, I still wasn't sure that the embassy would help me.  My little sister had talked to them and gave me a contact number to call.  So I called,  The woman from the embassy said that yes they would help me get back to the states.  She said the reason why they don't say they offer help is because they don't want Americans screwing up and coming to them for a bailout.  I guess that kind of makes sense.  I guess.  She told me how to get there and what to expect.  So cool; I can go home!  That was a big relief off of my brain.  Thank GOD!  I still have that tell all email out there.  SHE responded back in disbelief.  SHE was definitely concerned and affected by the news and said SHE was going to try to help.  I still to this day love that WOMAN so much for that and no matter what, I have HER back; anywhere, anytime.  My memory is a little fuzzy but I believe that it is around this time that SHE had some news of HER own.  SHE told me that SHE was still married but separated.  What???  Before, I had joked around that SHE had a boyfriend or someone but SHE said nope.  SHE proceeded to tell me that he cheated on HER and they had split.  It made me wonder, why no divorce?  The saying once a cheater always a cheater is IRREFUTABLE!  SHE told me some other not so good stuff about ROMEO and their relationship.  Out of respect for HER, I won't reveal that here.  All I could think is get your ass away from that jerk.  Don't you know that I would give you what you need from a partner emotionally and physically?  But I held back and listened.  OK so SHE'S married but separated.  That revelation is bitter sweet.  SHE didn't live with him so okay.  I definitely wasn't going to let on about any romantic or affectionate feelings now.  What am I talking about?  I gotta focus on getting out of here.  We will get back to this a little later on.  There's bigger fish to fry right now.  SHE sent me enough money that I could get a place to sleep and eat better than I had been doing.  Thank you PRINCESS!  I love YOU for that and many other reasons.  Now I had to figure out what I was going to do with all my stuff.  I had accumulated hundreds of DVDs and I had several suit cases full of clothing and military stuff.  Due to the fact that I will be traveling by bus and train, it is not feasible to carry all of that with me...

The Moment of Truth...

     Although we were as intimate as two people could be without yet meeting, SHE didn't owe me anything.  I was very hesitant to come clean about my whereabouts and the fact that I got myself trapped in a different country.  I didn't want to lose HER and, at the same time, how could I keep this from my BEST FRIEND?  I called HER up the next day and we talked as usual.  Conversations were definitely sex laced but I couldn't help it.  SHE turned me on in every way that a woman could turn a man on.  Oh yes, SHE'S sexy alright!  My pride wouldn't let me tell this woman that I was falling for that I was destitute.  I was so ashamed of the situation that I had let develop.  I was surely much smarter than that but it goes to show that everybody is capable of misjudgement.  I knew that I couldn't change any previous decision that I had made at this point so I needed to move forward.  I'm falling in love with this WOMAN!  But I can't tell HER.  I can't let on now.  SHE redefined what sexy is to me.  There's just something about HER that I can't get enough of even to this day.  I get even more excited about HER now than I did when it was all so fresh and new.  Just the nature of this trial will remind me from now on what a special and beautiful woman SHE is.  SHE is everything that I need.  Personality wise, body wise, HER nature and playfulness;  SHE even has a little diva thrown in there too.  No woman's body is perfect!  SHE has the perfect combination of things in the exact places that I want them.  That's why SHE turns me on so much physically.  Sometimes I just look at HER sexy pics and I get so horny that I have to take care of myself; so to speak.  This is the most excited that ANY woman has ever made me.  I love you PRINCESS!  I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  I decided to send HER a detailed email to soften the blow for me.  I told HER that I had been living in a different country this whole time and that I was stuck here with an expired visa.  I went on to say that I had no where to live and that I needed money for a place to stay and make it to the embassy.  I apologized for not coming forward sooner and prayed that SHE would at least forgive me if not help me.  Now for the hard part; when SHE reads it and then responds.  It could be very bad or SHE might be understanding.  Who knows, I might be in prison or something by then...

Swallow Your Pride...

     The time had come for me to tell HER about my situation.  I got kicked out of my hotel room because i didn't have the money to pay for it.  I had nowhere to go here because everyone that I had known had already gone back to the states.  I walked around aimlessly that day.  What's to come of me?  I stopped and sat on a bench that was on the sidewalk.  I needed to think of a way to get some money.  And I needed to kill some time.  Family members that could help had done so already.  There was a foreign church that I would go to almost every Sunday and pray.  It was situated at the top of a hill.  I never went to service there because the pastor didn't speak English.  Church was a part of my life growing up so praying wasn't strange to me.  I walked up to that church after I got tired of sitting.  When I opened the door, I found a seat, then bowed my head and prayed.  'Dear LORD, thank YOU for everything that YOU have done for me.  Please look after my family and friends and make sure they are safe.  Please make sure that they know that I love them.  If ever I needed YOUR help LORD it's right now...'  Somewhere in the middle of my prayer, I fell asleep because I was physically and mentally exhausted.  When I woke up, I gathered my composure and walked to an ATM to check my account.  I was surprised to see that I had enough money to get a cheap room for a couple of nights.  Then, I made a decision that would end up being an important milestone in our young relationship.  I decided to tell my PRINCESS all about my struggles and ask for HER help...

Thank GOD...

     As we talked more and more and got closer, SHE became more important to me.  We always laughed and had really good conversations.  That's what I wanted in the best case scenario.  So after the whole Vegas thing, things were getting rough for me.  I was running out of money and had no place to go.  For a long time, I never let HER know the turmoil that I faced.  We were friends up to this point and I didn't want HER to feel less of a friend or what we had established just because my life was rocky.  You never know what someone else has going on in their lives so mutual support should be your plan.  It wasn't HER fault and I knew that so why would I change towards HER?  That's not my definition of a friend.  We continued to talk, have great conversations and great sex talk.  Even though I had problems, I knew it would be really jerky to disappear or make HER feel less of what I had become for HER and to HER.  We have a moral responsibility to our true friends and family.  I was at my lowest point.  First there were days when I didn't know where my next meal was coming from.  When I would hear from HER it made me feel good and I cherished it.  I am a strong and very independent man but there is only so much burden that I could take.  I always enjoyed making HER feel good in every way.  It got to the point that I was going to be out on the streets.  I was living in a hotel and paying a monthly rent.  I knew that I wasn't going to be able to pay next month's rent.  I had been corresponding with my little sister and nephew by the time things were getting really bad.  They were trying to figure something out.  In the meantime, I was down to one meal a day and I knew, that in a couple of weeks, I would get kicked out of my room.  There's not much lower that a person could go.  But, through it all, I remained myself with HER.  Although I was down and out, the last thing on earth that I wanted to do was let HER down.  SHE is my princess and I knew that I needed HER and wanted HER in my life always.  Then, one day when I was coming upstairs to my room, the couple that owned the hotel told me I was invited to eat with them.  They lived in the hotel as well and I would smell them cooking everyday.  I guess that they were noticing changes in my demeanor and wanted to extend a hand.  I was floored because that was really nice and sweet.  I have witnessed quite a few miracles in my life; moments that happen for no other apparent reason than GOD'S will.  Some are sprinkled throughout this story.  I just wanted to go upstairs and sit and think so I respectfully declined.  I went up to my room and moments later, there was a knock at the door.  The lady from downstairs brought me a plate of food.  I thanked her.  I sat down and as I was eating, my eyes swelled up with tears; kind of like they are now.  After dinner, I got a phone call from my little sister.  She had contacted the U.S. Embassy and they said that they would help me get back home.  GREAT news!  I still had to make my way to the capital city and I needed money for a place to stay until then.  Later that night, I talked to my PRINCESS.  SHE still didn't know what I was dealing with here.  I kept it to myself.  SHE was an angel.  SHE always knew how to handle me and comfort me.  I got off so good with HER too! The things SHE says to me always gets me going.  The best lover that I ever met.  The best looking too!  I will explain later. Secretly I loved HER even then I think but I know I love HER now...

Hmmmmm....

     After I was living alone, I could talk to HER whenever I wanted.  It was great!  Since we lived on different continents, HER night was my day and my day was HER night.  During this time, I wasn't working so I was burning up my savings.  My plan was to come back over here to give the relationship with my ex a chance and find a job.  I don't play games with people because I believe in KARMA.  What you do to others will soon come back on you in a very negative way.  And because I am not a screwed up person who would take someone and use them.  Well, we now know that relationship went south and all of the American companies wanted me to apply for a visa in the U.S.  Damn, I'm a silly boy to think that a woman can be responsible and honest and trust her with my innermost feelings, and most importantly, my heart.  The whole apply-in-the-U.S. thing was out because my tourist visa had expired.  So I was stuck in this foreign land and time was running out.  I still talked to HER a lot.  I don't like making people feel unwanted or used or bad because I'm having things go rough for me.  I would message HER while she was at work.  SHE excited me in many ways; not just sexually, and I wasn't afraid to let HER know.  Everything was clicking with HER.  We have a lot in common with just enough differences to make it interesting.  Still, to this point, I never told HER how I was feeling.  I never should have cause, as I found out, SHE would use it against me.  I had wanted to keep my distance to protect myself.  I had been in enough relationships to appreciate all of the good things that were developing between us.  It was still early on and we hadn't met.  I would hear this over and over and over for the next few years.  I was trying to keep things in perspective.  I enjoyed knowing HER and talking to HER and thoughts of future things did pop into my head.  The time kept rolling by.  The more time that had passed the more intimate and descriptive our conversations got.  I always wanted a woman that I could be completely open with.  So what happens next???  I want to see HER and hold HER and make love to HER and wipe all of those tears and problems away.  I don't think SHE gets it.