I Need Approval

     The more that we talked, the more it seemed like a real relationship.  Seemed is the appropriate word.  SHE was, after all, still married.  That is definitely a fact that, to this point, has made things much more difficult than necessary.  I was in no way perfect; however, if you do me right then you have got a friend for life and I will return the generosity.  Then, on top of that, SHE seemed to have a yearning fot outside attention.  Maybe it was due to a lack of self-confidence or maybe it was due to being picked on or teased or whatever.  Something from HER past was definitely lacking.  I began to notice that SHE craved attention.  Which, in itself, isn't really bad.  It all depends on who you need all the attention from that makes the difference.

     I remember when you made plans with someone and you headed out to meet them based on what you guys discused and agreed upon.  If the person or people that you were going to meet were running late or something came up then you would find out after you arrived and were waiting.  I also remember when gas stayed around 90 cents to $1 a gallonbut that's a different story.  In this day and age of the internet, cellular phones, twitter, instagram, and texting, everything and everyone is at your fingertips.  None of these things are bad in any way but people can choose to use them in a mannerthat is detrimental topositive things and the relationships going on in their lives.  So SHE loves attention.  Thathas been an ongoing observation.  It could be harmless or it could show a gravitation towards a negative element.  I will watch and see.  SHE would always post provocative pictures and such and wait for comments or 'likes' from guys.  Naturally that was a little offsetting to me so naturally it caused a few arguments between us to say the least.  I mean it's not like I didn't tell and show HER that SHE was pretty and desirable.  I basically found it in bad taste.  I just couldn't relate because I didn't need that from strangers.  Of coursr hearing from that special someone is a good thing.  I'm attractive and I grew up knowing it but I guess everyone is different; I guess?????  Nevertheless, we continued to talk.  I wish SHE had more respect for HERSELF and the possibility of something between us.  Since the 'incident' that included dumb ass, a gun, the cops, jail time, lawyers, and blood, and no I'm not making this up, SHE still hadn't dropped the bum.  Very disturbing!  Whenever I would bring up him habitually cheating on HER, SHE would say something like is that all like it was insignificant.  DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL.  He would have to do something more drastic to slap HER in the face; I guess.  SHE is just prolonging  the inevitable.  I was coming from a place of true friendship and I also liked HER more than that but we had just started exploring the possibilities...

Do You Question Yourself??*

     When making life altering decisions, it's nice to have input but you are your own person.     I mean...  if you dont belive me, then look at the people throwing out advice.  Have they made wrong decisions???  Were they wrong about someone that you know???  Maybe evenpraised someobe that wasnt worth a shit because they didnt have ALL  of the facts.  Thats why I make my own decisions when it comes to MY life!  Thays not my friends' nor familys' role; they are there to support me....PERIOD!    IM a simple man...  I will do everything in my power to help and support you.  All I ask is to not be disrrspected in any way.  I shouldnt even have to ask but...  Heres a good gauge of whether or not you should do something; would you be mad if your significant other did the same thing?
     Between us there were ups and downs; a lot to do with HER situation; I mean SHEwas living with another man.  You can downplay it all you want but the fact remains.  And it takes trusting solely what the other person tells you.  Would you even believe what you are saying???  You must think what if this was done to me before you act or make a major decosion that will affect your significant other.  Unless, of course, you will die if you dont.
      People find it easy to be selfish and self-absorbeduntil its too late.
     I was giving HER the benefit of the doubt but I had both eyes wide open.  Is SHE telling the truth???  Can SHE handle a relationship with no gimmicks, no other games, and no ther dudes???  Simply meaning will SHE do something that SHE knows that will OBVIOUSLY cause issues???  If there is ABSOLUTELY no other way then of course that understandable... with No OTHER way.  Does SHE want me???  Does SHE respect my wishes or is it a game or just some other unrealistic fantasy that SHE developed through a sutreal marriage???  Hmmmmmm...  I dont know.  Do YOU???

Ho Hum, Drop The Bum...

     More time passed and, by this time, I was getting disenchanted with life changing things that SHE said that SHE was going to do or needed to do, and still made no attempt to accomplish.  It was like a lot of HER thoughts and beliefs, of what would or could possibly happen in the demise of HER destructive marriage, were very unrealistic.  Like...  The fact that SHE was actually believing and telling me that SHE was thinking about being roommates with dumb ass during and after their divorce and live in peace and harmony under the same roof.  I know a bunch of those unrealistic expectations and plans were driven into HER head by HER not so mentally there husband.  After all, he thought that SHE should be cool with him fucking any skank that wanted to just as long as he said he had no feelings for the whore and he said I'm so sorry and will never do it again each time.  Any way, we had been around one another enough to know that it could work if in fact SHE loses the dead weight.  So let's see.  I am being very cautious especially since SHE did take him back after the average woman would have told him to go fuck himself with a broom and get lost.  We continued talking and building on an already solid friendship.
     I had come a long ways by this time, health-wise, and I had no major complaints in life.  I have been fortunate and BLESSED enough to have both a strong will and a strong resolve.  Dumb ass had the type of job where he would be gone from home for several days at a time.  When he was home, SHE would be limited as to when or even how long SHE could talk.  Why???  Because SHE was too scared to make a move.  Partly HER own fault and partly because of the mind games that he played with HER.  He beat it into HER head that SHE is and will be absolutely nothing without him.  I even come to find out that he would come try to crawl into bed with HER when he came home from work.  Sometimes he would sleep on the other side of the bed or in the same room.  But, of course, they hadn't had sex in over a year, SHE said.  Say WHAT?  All of those indicators are definite speed bumps in the path to complete togetherness between HER and I.  Let's just see what happens.  My momma didn't raise no fool!  For now, nothing truly serious can come...

HUH.......?

...  I thought it was bad enough that SHE was still married and living with the dude, and I use that term loosely, but SHE wanted to and continued to add more drama to the mix.  If I am wrong and living wrong, according to my own standards, then why would I do things that I know are going to create chaos and more drama.......?  How do I know you ask?  Because I know who I am talking to and they have done their part by communicating to me numerous times the things that bothered them.  At this point, can I really complain if I know where they are coming from???????  More to come........

Act Like You Do Or You Won't Have It...

     It is cool that we have quite a few similarities in our upbringing.  One that I enjoy is our appetite for some of the same basic foods.  I like my meats well-done and, of course, since SHE is with me, SHE likes HER meat well-done too!  Correction, SHE better ONLY like mines!  Ha, just joking; not really but...  I had to buy ALL of my household supplies and appliances and everything.  You should read up and catch up on RickysNewBook.blogspot.com to get the whole scoop on that situation.  So we were definitely working with the basics.  Even chilling on the ole air mattress at the time.  When SHE started hanging out with me, in the flesh, I noticed a physical attribute that somehow escaped me during all of our Skype sessions.  I know SHE had two of the bounciest, softest, and nicest milk jugs around cause SHE can't hide them.  SHE better not hide them around me; however, there is a time and place for everything.  I like playing with HER by giving them some of the most male chauvinistic names.  I will share more names with you later.  When SHE slept with me...

     "Damn! What is that?" I asked.

     "What?  What's wrong?" SHE asked.

     I couldn't hold in my chuckle cause I was so excited.

     "Mmmm, look at that cute little caboose!" I said.

     "Caboose?" SHE asked.

     "Yeah.  I thought YOU always said that YOU didn't have one?  And YOU are wearing those cute panties.  I love that light brown ass!" I explained.

     SHE laughed and so did I but I am dead serious.

     "Why were YOU holding out on me? That is YOUR secret little weapon," I said.

     I knew exactly why SHE didn't realize what SHE had.  Dumb ass never took the time to tell HER or I doubt he even cared.  Who cares?  I have some goodies to play with...

Chez Ricky...

     So...she arrived around the time I had expected HER.  HER flight was on time and I definitely appreciated that more than anyone will ever know.  I had planned for us to possibly cook Thanksgiving dinner together and chill out and enjoy each other's company.  It was also my birthday weekend so I was looking forward to no drama and a very cool relaxation.  After all that I learned that SHE had been through, I didn't expect HER to want more drama and complications.  My feelings were growing for HER naturally since we talked and sexed each other a lot; whether it was phone boning or not.  Hopefully, SHE can get rid of that loser once and for all.  Then, we can find out what the future holds for us.  Until then, we are kinda in limbo.  Now we could rush and not play it smart but where would that get us?  If SHE doesn't drop dumb ass then nothing will ever work between us and that's just speaking realistically.  I have been very patient and more accommodating than you could possibly imagine.  Ever since the blowout about 6 months ago between HER and dumb ass this is an absolute no brainer.  Let's see how fast SHE totally separates  from him and moves on.

     HER plane landed and I was at the airport already; I just had to find my way to the baggage claim area.  We were in contact via cell phones throughout HER trip so that made everything easier.  I parked and rushed to the baggage claim.  I looked to the left, to the right , then back to the left.  SHE had already claimed HER bags and so I walked over to help HER carry them out to my truck.v

     "Hello, how was your flight?" I asked as I gave HER a hug.

     "My flight was okay but I am glad to be off of that plane.  How are you?" SHE asked.

     "I'm good.  Let me get that for you," I said.

     I motioned to HER larger bags and grabbed them up while SHE handled HER carry on.  I was pretty new to the city but we were gonna be cool; that's why GPS is a handy tool.  We were on our way after I found my truck; yes that's right found my truck, gimme a break it's a huge airport.  My place was about a 40 minute ride from there so we passed through a good portion of the city.

     "So what would you like to eat for dinner?" I asked.

     "It doesn't matter to me; something good," SHE replied.

     "Are you gonna cook for me?" SHE asked.

     "Not tonight. I figured we would grab something on the way back home if that's cool?" I explained.

     "That's perfect! I wanna get to your place and get settled in," SHE said.

One and ONLY...

     Even remembering as far back as my childhood, Thanksgiving was a good time.  My MOM and my older sisters always hooked up some great food.  The holiday itself lands on the fourth Thursday in November so the date changes from year to year.  One of the most special things about it, is the fact that Thanksgiving Day lands on my birthday about every six years or so.  Even though we had a big dinner, we would still make the rounds.  We would always visit my Grandmother's house and act a fool with my cousins.  Then, we would go to my Great Aunt's house and cut up there too.  Needless to say, we always had fun and went back home full.  Mmmmm, sweet potato pie! 
     It was the day before HER flight and I was excited.  We had already met so I knew more or less what to expect.  SHE was due to land in the early evening so that was cool.  I'm looking forward to see how SHE acts more and more.  I mean the real HER; not the I'm trying to make a good impression cause I like you HER.  SHE called me as SHE was boarding the plane.

     "Hello, YOU ready for your flight?" I asked.
     "Yesss!  I'm actually walking to the plane right now," SHE replied.
     "Kool!  Well, I hope you have a good and safe flight.  I will be there when YOU land," I reassured HER.
     "You better be.  Thank you and I can't wait to see you.  I will call you before I board my next plane," SHE said.
     "Alright.  See you in a few hours.  Bye!" I said.

     If we are gonna be serious in the future, then SHE is gonna have to totally drop that dumb ass.  Of course I could just have HER around for a piece of ass every now and then but that's not what I'm looking for; never have.  My last relationship was kinda screwy so I really didn't want a repeat.  A few unexpected things popped up like she had a couple of kids that she didn't mention, which wasn't the kicker.  Her head wasn't on too tight and more.  Being around HER should tell me a lot.  We shall see.  I'm open to different things but I need a one man woman.  I know what SHE has told me but ACTIONS mean the world to me...
    

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

     So it was official, the week of Thanksgiving was to be our second meeting.  Thanks to Skype, we had logged many hours of video chat together.  SHE was flying in and I was gonna pick HER up at the airport.  I just recently moved here and the place that I was renting didn't have a stove.  We had decided that we were going to cook Thanksgiving dinner together so I bought a stove.  Before, it was never too important because I am a bachelor and I eat out more often than I'd like to admit.  Don't get me wrong, I like to cook but cooking for one sometimes feels like overkill.
     Yes, you guessed it, I went ahead and ordered some hot panties from Victoria's Secret and they were waiting on HER cute little ass.  I was looking forward to talking, laughing, and cuddling with HER.  I decided to call HER up the day that I received my "package" cause SHE was on my mind. 
    
     "Hello," SHE answered.
     "Hello Brownie.  How are you doing?" I asked.
     "I'm good.  It's almost someone's birthday," SHE added.
     "Yeah... Are you ready for your flight?" I asked.
     "Yes I'm excited! Do you remember what time my flight lands?" SHE asked.
     "Of course I do and I am gonna be waiting outside in the parking lot when you arrive," I joked because when I went to see HER, SHE was outside.
     "You're funny.  You better be waiting for me," SHE said.
     "Yeah, yeah , yeah...  I hear you.  Hey I bought a stove so if you want to cook, we can," I told HER.
     "Cool!  Do you still want to cook?" SHE asked.
     "Hmmm let's see.  Guess what?" I replied.
     "What?" SHE asked.
     "Black Santa came by. He's a crazy guy," I said.
     I have always played with HER like that saying Black Santa came to let HER know that i got HER something; I mean that he did.  Why Black Santa?  Well, you know...
     "What color panties are you wearing?" I asked.
     "Let me see.  I am wearing those cute blue leopard print ones," SHE said.
     "I wanna see.  Send me a pic," I said.
    
     There are several of the ones that I got HER that make me horny when I see HER in them.  I loved getting pictures of HER in cute panties.  They all looked good but sometimes SHE catches just the right pose that makes me wanna bone HER.  Mmmmm... the way those panties fit HER.  I can't wait til SHE's here...

Friend or FOE???

     So that was the MEETING and it went as good as it could have possibly.  I definitely wanted to meet again and see what might be.  SHE is very inconsistent!  When i say that I mean SHE likes me one day, then for no apparent reason, has a bad day and takes things out on me.  I think because SHE is scared to attack the SOURCE of HER problems.  I have done nothing but try to help HER and make HER feel good in every way.  Maybe SHE takes that for granted....I don't know.  So we continued to talk.  We continued to have sexy time on the phone too.  I really enjoyed that with HER and I think SHE did with me.  I say I think because SHE would deny me and make up excuses not to play.  The way I see it, if you are not feeling it and you know the other person is, then you should definitely cash in that rain check.  The other person shouldn't have to beg to show you affection.  Eventually, that will sour our sexy time.  I tried to explain to HER how I felt and SHE just downplayed it or ignored it all together.  I wonder if SHE will notice when, because of HER changing, our sexy time and life changes?  I wonder if SHE will blame me?  We were planning our second meeting for around the time of my birthday which happens to land near Thanksgiving; some years it is Thanksgiving Day!  Every time SHE had a bad day with jerk off or SHE got hassled by anyone else, I was there to talk to HER until the wee hours and let HER know that it was alright.  All I have ever tried to do is make HER feel better and special.  I was very sexually attracted to HER but after being turned down, for even phone play, that feeling starts to fade a little.  Why would a woman not want to be desired?  Oh well...  I picked out some more cute panties that i know SHE would look good in.  When you are there for support, even when you are busy at work, and care about someone's well being, it's a slap in the face when they complain or take their bad luck out on you.  I'm NOT perfect but I dare you to find better!  Thanksgiving is coming and I am excited to see HER.  SHE is coming to me this time so I want HER to be comfortable and enjoy HER time here...

When Did YOU Lose YOUR Sprirt???

     How can we trust people with our lives that we can’t trust with our heart?  The human heart is one of the deepest organs in our bodies and the closest to our souls.  Once someone has willingly and repeatedly cheated on us, they will NEVER stop just as long as we accept it.  Nobody wants to be reminded that they aren’t attractive by their mate so it’s easy to understand the psyche behind it.  Denial keeps us from feeling the pain and hurt of not being wanted and so the cycle continues until someone explodes in rage.  I have always been a realist and I understand that habitual cheaters will not stop.  There’s always going to be someone better.  People are fooled by a gift or flowers or a kind word.  After such gestures and they accept the horrible behavior, things go back to the unloving and unromantic relationship.  Time and time again this has happened.  How can a strong and opinionated woman be turned into a frightened coward?  I don’t know but I do know that people always have different options.  I only assume that these women feel that they can’t do any better than a lying cheat or that because their spouse chose many different women, they feel undesirable.  Either way it’s sad.  I never thought of my BROWNIE as a coward but what holds HER back from taking back HER dignity?  It has to be denial or fear of nobody wanting them.  Probably imbedded into HER head by HER spouse; statements like nobody else will love you like this or nobody else can provide for you like this.  Or maybe even this is a sign we should be together while all along he is plotting his next rendezvous.  I felt sorry for HER just as much as I wanted to protect HER from all of this hurt.  She didn’t have to put HERSELF through this in order to feel special or important.  Only to be reminded a few months later that she is less than second best when he cheats again.  What a horrible man to destroy a woman from the inside out and how selfish to not give HER a chance to move on and find happiness.  The ONLY one that can help HER is HERSELF.  She has to realize and accept that he did these things to HER and he did the repeatedly without conscience.  SHE has to believe that SHE deserves better before SHE can move on.  I feel sorry for YOU BROWNIE and I won’t give up on YOUR desire and fight in YOU to be better and do better than someone who disrespects YOU and will always cheat.  Brownie… Brownie you are way better than that so how did YOU get lost and consumed in this???  I know YOU can get out of this horrible relationship.  This can't be what YOU want...  There's no way that YOU want or will accept a cheating husband. 

Im ONLY Human...

     Yes I have heard EVERYTHING that SHE has told me and I understand all of HER ups and downs and setbacks; that being said...  Maybe one of the most difficult situations that could possibly come up in life is the severing or dismantling of a personal relationship or marriage.  I get it.  I have been there and done that.  YOU have to decide for yourself exactly what YOU will allow in a lifetime partner and what exactly YOU need and want in life to be truly happy.  Just surviving or co-existing does in no way, shape, or form land anywhere near HAPPY.  I, for the life of me, can't understand how a person will have standards and expectations of what they want in their life and, when it's time to act, fall short of that and convince themselves that it's okay due to the lack of emergency.  We continued to talk and, in my mind, I continued to question HER goals of completely severing HER marriage.  A blind man could see that SHE wasn't happy.  Any self-respecting person couldn't possibly stand for such emotional and mental abuse from a spouse, under no circumstances.  If the plan that YOU set forth isn't going to produce your desired goals in a reasonable amount of time, then YOU need to change YOUR game plan.  I truly care for HER but I am not an idiot; although, actions sometimes prove otherwise.  Not working at all or working part time hours, especially with slightly above average medical needs, will not allow HER to realistically move out on HER own.  So that tells me that SHE has no plans to do so.  I'm not saying that it has to happen over night but there's no plan to chnge it at all.  I would think that a very NECESSARY divorce is important enough to make drastic changes if that is what is required.  Are YOU any closer to divorce and supporting yourself than YOU were a year ago or even six months ago?  If SHE doesn't understand how the way SHE makes HER moves or doesn't make any moves affects someone that SHE claims is special and that SHE loves, then SHE's not living in reality.  It affects everything from how I might react from not talking X amount of days to not sexing for X amount of days.  Or atleast how all of that affects me.  Actions generally speak louder than words.  I put trust into what SHE said and then look up after six months or a year later and NADA.  What is SHE really doing?  Will stuff like that drift into a relationship in other ways?  Of course it will and has.  Possibly the cause of unnecessary disagreements or disputes, possibly the cause of random hurt feelings or possibly the cause of feeling distant or uninterest.  I have had many, many heart to heart conversations about past and present desires and needs, not to mention experiences, and nothing about HER current marriage lines up with anything that SHE wants.  Now throw in the fact that sexualadvances go seemingly unnoticed or with zero response.  NOT so much as a I HEARD THAT YOU WANT ME AND I WANT YOU TOO I'M NOT IN THE MOOD TODAY BUT WE WILL DO IT SOON.  Or SORRY I WAS TIRED AND I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID & I WANT YOU TOO SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?  Things have gone through my mind over and over.  Sometimes not as frequently as others.  SHE told me that SHE wasn't feeling sexual but there were no attempt to solve the problem.  I would think that if YOU were in a DEAD END relationship or marriage and YOU found someone that became special and loved by YOU...  You would do everything in YOUR power to ease anydoubts about YOUR emotional and sexual interest in them or where those two things were focused.

One Bad Apple...

     So we did it!  We met for the first time in our sign-of-the-times relationship.  I enjoyed every minute of it and I am looking forward to the next time.  We have had some disagreements and, to no surprise, they usually centered on HER dead marriage.  It seems so simple.  Walk away from it and start over with a certain freshness and hope for a beautiful future.  OR stay and know that YOU will never be truly happy or loved like you need to be.  Simple!  I had endured a misguided marriage and I gave it a second shot.  As soon as it was over then it was over.  We ended it and it was the best decision.  How sad would it be to be in a relationship and know that you will never be happy?  Not to mention, knowing that you will be cheated on until death do you part.  Anyway, work was getting more familiar and I was finding my way around town a little easier.  We still talked on the phone and skyped.  It was a little different after having met HER; different in a good way.  I really enjoyed the way HER body naturally fit when we were in the cuddle position.  It was perfect! HER curves landed right where they needed to be.  SHE felt really good up against me and in my arms.  I was going to fly HER down to see me right around my birthday.  The fact that SHE was still in the same house with that dumb ass was getting to me.  We opened a new chapter to our relationship yet SHE hadn’t severed all ties with dipshit.  I sometimes wondered how many guys at work he probably told how he was disrespecting HER repeatedly and how many guys at his job either knew or have helped him pull off some of his gutter-fied, dumpster diving, trailer park trashy encounters?  You know most men that accomplish what is thought of as something that most men would love to do have to have to brag about it.  SICKENING!  So naturally I did feel sorry for HER because how sad.  Most of the time, I think that SHE is living in denial.  Somehow SHE thinks because he paid the bills that he needed to pay in order for himself to live comfortably too, She misconstrues the fact that he can be and still is a jackass.  I still had strong feelings for HER but I started to feel that all of my love and desire might have an expiration date if SHE doesn’t wise up and make actually moves to divorce.  Something made HER hesitant and it’s not logic or reality.  I think he must have drilled it in HER head that SHE couldn’t survive without him.  Well I think SHE is a smart woman so there is no way that SHE will stand for that kind of disrespect and outright humiliation.  I tried to help HER remember that SHE was pretty and desirable every chance that I could.  I tried to boost HER self-esteem.  It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know what has happened in HER marriage.  I can tell by the way SHE responds to adversity and how SHE reacts when things don’t go as planned.  PRINCESS I wish I could take all of that hurt away but I can’t.  All I can do is try my best to make you feel good and smile knowing that there is a better way to life.  Some days we talked, SHE would be cheerful and others, SHE would be down.  Ok it was getting closer to our next meeting.  I wanted to go panty shopping with HER if possible and just love on HER.  PRINCESS there is a man that will love YOU, want YOU, and show YOU. 

Come Again.....

     Wow!  I had a great time having some quality face time with my PRINCESS.  I was pleasantly surprised by HER backside.  SHE had always downplayed it to me but I find it quite nice to grab and spank.  I couldn’t and didn’t want to keep my hands off of HER the whole weekend.  After all of that teasing and dirty talk, I was ready for some lovin.  We had some good conversations and laughs just like we did over the phone.  I love the way that SHE kisses and when SHE goes for my neck and ears, it drives me crazy.  So we met and I would have to say that it went better than either of us could have imagined.  Good stuff!  The morning that I was going to leave, we cuddled up and loved on each other until it was time to get ready.  After we got ready and went downstairs to HER truck, we sat there for a little while because we had some extra time.  SHE looked so pretty and sexy sitting in HER seat.  If SHE was trying to tempt me to miss my flight, it was working.  We smooched a little more and then it was off to the airport.  We hugged and kissed goodbye almost at the exact same spot where we had met for the first time.  I called HER after I checked in and traveled to my gate.  I definitely enjoyed my trip and couldn’t wait to see HER again.  I boarded my flight headed back home after our sexy rendezvous.  When I got back home it was Sunday evening.  I found my truck, paid my parking fee, and headed to my house.  I had to work in the morning so I didn’t have too much extra time to spare.  I let HER know that I made it home okay and then I got some rest before falling asleep.  We talked and agreed that next time we meet up, SHE comes to see me.  We were thinking around Thanksgiving which is also around the time of my birthday.  Roughly about every 8 years, Thanksgiving falls on my birthday.  I thought that was cool since I found out.  Where’s this all headed?  I really don’t know right now.  SHE needs to make some firm decisions and roll with them…

Just A Teaser...

     Ah alone in a hotel room at last.  We talked for a while and quickly navigated to the bed.  It was a very nice room.  It had the whole sofa bed kind of thing going on and a nice comfy bed itself.  SHE looked good and I wanted to taste HER.  SHE was showing a lot of cleavage and I was definitely looking.  We migrated towards the bed.  I couldn't wait to kiss HER pouty lips.  It was hot!  SHE really knew how to kiss and I know what I'm doing so sparks were flying.  I love kissing HER.  The way our mouths move and SHE puts HER tongue inside my mouth.  I love sucking and gently biting on it.  I just had to get a handful of HER sexy tits and ass.  It was perfect.  I love making out with HER.  And I kept my word; I spanked HER ass.  Of course I was growing in my pants and I didn't have to know that SHE was wet.  One thing that I am so glad about is the fact that I found out long ago that women found me attractive.  I don't have to beg or ploy for compliments.  I am not saying that I am GOD'S gift but I know, on the average, more women like what they see than the ones that don't.  I love the confidence that I have.  We made out for hours and I couldn't believe that I was actually with my sexy PRINCESS.  It was just like I had imagined.  We got along the same as we did over the phone and computer.  We went out for dinner and then came back to our love nest.  SHE fit perfectly with HER body pressed up against mine.  I loved when SHE laid on HER right side and faced away from me. Mmmmmmmm  HER ass fit right into my crotch and I have long arms so I could wrap them around HER and squeeze on HER big, soft tits.  I told HER to stop wiggling but I really didn't want HER to because it felt so good.  As we lay there, I kissed all over HER back and neck.  I was getting hard as a rock and SHE could feel it pressed up against HER ass....

It's About Time...

         When I woke up, I couldn't believe that today was the day.  I had that wake-up-early-on-Saturday-morning-to-watch-the-cartoons kind of feeling.  I was off work for three days.  I was about to travel to a new place.  And most importantly, I was going to meet my HONEY BUNNY!  Me and that WOMAN have shared so many things and been through a lot together.  Just imagine, about 30 years ago, this all would have been impossible.  No internet, no chat lines, and besides I would have been 10 years old.  Anyway, It was going down.  I got to the airport early and had plenty of time to relax before my flight.  I called HER to let HER know that I was coming.  And YOU better be waiting!  I have been to many airports and some are more confusing than others.  Since I was meeting HER outside, I was hoping that it would be pretty easy to navigate.  I only brought my little suitcase.  I brought some of my pictures and things that I always wanted to show HER in person.  I made sure that I had shaved and cut my hair. I was looking good.  I messaged HER one more time as I was boarding the plane.  See you soon PRINCESS.  I had a connecting flight so it was off the plane again.  The layover was less than an hour so it wasn't bad at all.  Man, I can stretch my legs.  Flying is the only time that I wish I was short.  I feel sorry for short dudes.  I remember one time I was in the checkout line with my little sister.  There was a short dude in front of us and the clerk asked him how tall he was.  I started laughing to myself.  He said he was 5 foot 4 inches.  My sister interrupted and told him no way.  She said that he wasn't even 5 feet.  My sister is tall for a woman and she was right.  I could see the top of his head.  Funny stuff...  I messaged HER one more time and playfully told HER that SHE better be waiting.  When the plane landed, I had a good little hike to get to the baggage claim.  All I could think was the fact that I am going to spank HER ass when I see HER.  I still get a shortness of breath and walking around the airport got me a little bit.  Okay, now that I had my bag, I had to find the way out of this place.  As I was nearing the exit, I called HER and SHE had been parked waiting.  SHE said that SHE was there and just had to pull up to the drop off/pick up area.  I got outside before SHE found my exit so I was standing and looking for HER.  I was kind of exhausted because I didn’t sleep well and because of the flight.  The plan was to go to the hotel room and relax and kiss and grope HER.  Finally I saw HER truck pull up.  SHE parked and got out.  SHE walked around to the back of the truck and gave me a hug and a smooch.  I hugged and smooched HER back.  I was ready to get settled so we were off to the hotel.  We were smiling and talking on the way there.  I thought SHE was pretty and yes they were as big as they were on camera…YAY!  SHE said that SHE knew exactly where it was so that was good.  We got there and went in to check in and guess what?  The desk clerk said that I didn’t have a reservation.  HUH?  I asked HER to please check again under my name and SHE did and nothing.  I stepped back and looked at HER and then looked behind the counter and guess what?  I started laughing.  I told the clerk nevermind.  SHE had taken us to the Holiday Inn and my reservation was at the Hyatt; the other “H”.  We busted up laughing.  My silly PRINCESS…  So we rode over to the right hotel and, as SHE was parking….JERK!  She curb checked me.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  I will never let HER live that down.  I went inside to check in and what do you know, they found me in the system.  I couldn’t wait to get upstairs for more than one reason.  Let's see if YOU are as soft and cuddly as YOU look...mmmmm.  Here we go…

I'm On My Way...

    Okay so we set up a meeting and I was excited.  SHE confided in me that SHE was a little nervous but that is definitely to be expected.  We have been talking for about 4 years and are finally both on the same continent.  Not only that, but we are in a position to meet.  I was still recovering from my illness but well on my way.  I was about 85% recovered.  So I bought my plane tickets and thought about how we would react and what we would do.  I told HER the date and SHE was excited too.  We talked about HER picking me up from the airport and what was best.  SHE wanted to be waiting outside in HER truck.  Hmmm... I must admit that I was a little disappointed only because I thought SHE would want to meet me at the baggage claim.  But I went with it if it would be more comfortable for HER.  I was used to flying so the flight wasn't a big deal to me.  I do hate being scrunched up in that tiny little space.  I am 6 foot, 1 inch so I have long legs and I like to stretch out.  The job was still good and I was making excellent money.   I would really love to be able to write for a living.  I just got to make that happen.  I am still getting used to my surroundings so I don't know how to get around yet.  Everywhere I go, I use GPS.  I would be totally lost without it.  I was all set for my trip.  I made the hotel reservations and I requested the time off work.  Man face to face, skin to skin with my little PRINCESS....  I can't wait.  I had to schedule a doctor's appointment because I needed a checkup.  I didn't feel bad or anything but before I was admitted, I didn't feel that bad either.  I have become more health conscious.  I never was too concerned because I was always out and running and playing sports.  I never had any major issues whatsoever so I had a false sense of resilience and invincibility.  I am so glad that I didn’t need alcohol or drugs to get me high.  The adrenaline rush from competing and from winning was the best feeling in the world.  Well, the second best feeling in the world.  So how is this going to go?  Is she going to get rid of that loser?  It just goes to show that no matter how smart you are, you can wind up in a not so smart situation.  I guess the difference is that if you are smart, then you know how to get out of it….usually.  It would be cool to check out HER state and go shopping with HER for some panties and I need to enhance my wardrobe after leaving so much behind.  To be totally honest, I don’t know if we will even see the outside of that hotel room.  SHE is very lucky to have me so into HER in many ways and I don’t mean that in a conceited kind of way.  I just know that I am a good guy.  After we talked the night before my flight, I couldn’t hardly believe that after these years, no more phone or computer was going to be between us.  I could hardly sleep just like every time I’m going on a cool trip the next day.  I’m going to see my PRINCESS…..

Roll With It...

   So I was pretty excited about setting up a meeting with HER.  SHE has been there for me for several years when I needed HER and many times when I wanted HER.  We have seen each other through pictures and video conversations but this is big.  I can touch HER and kiss HER and see all of HER goodies in the flesh.  I call all of HER assets such as HER tits and ass and little hot box, HER goodies.  My  new job was just as advertised.  It was more laid back and less physical than what I had done in the military.  But, the pay is better.  The area is different than any other place that I actually lived.  It is common here for houses to have basements and I was told they get quite a bit of snow.  I am not too thrilled with the cold so I hope it's not that bad a winter.  Even thought they have bad winters, it was fall yet everything was so green.  I mean green enough for me to notice a difference right away.  I had to find a place to stay.  Although it's just me, I didn't want an apartment.  I wanted to see if I could find a house and I had a month to do it so I should be fine.  My coworkers were okay for the most part so work wasn't a bad place.  We talked as usual and SHE was still sulking from me taking this job instead but no where as bad as SHE was when I first told HER.  We continued getting each other off and videoing.  The meeting was the main conversation.  We talked about doing it in about a month or so.  Still not a word about a divorce.  I still didn't bring it up.  I figured that SHE was like most women and didn't want to be married to a cheater.  I know that SHE is a romantic and has plans of family and love.  I also know that SHE won't be happy and can't really have nor enjoy any of that if SHE has to constantly look over HER shoulder and behind HER back.  Even if SHE tried to overlook the cheating and move forward, the mistrust will eat away at HER and it will end very badly.  I just decided to observe what HER next move would be.  SHE can never enjoy or have what SHE wanted with me until SHE divorces.  Anyway, I found a place and took pictures to show HER and so that piece of the puzzle was completed.  Now we just have to coordinate with each other to nail down a date.  I was going to fly out to see HER this time so I needed advance notice to get the best rate on a plane ticket.  I figured that during the trip we would hang out in my hotel room and talk and laugh and have lots of sexy time.  I was going to grope all over HER.  I love HER assets and I can't wait to play with them...

Let's Do It...

     SHE decided to let this last little dispute about me taking the better job last for about two months.  Why waste time on stupid, insignificant stuff?  I tried not to get too upset about it and let HER vent.  Sometimes YOU need to vent and I understand that.  I'm sure I will need that favor one day, hopefully SHE realizes that and is fair.  I feel, that in relationships, the little things such as this or HER downing me when i was sick, can be overlooked for the greater good.  She was upset because HER feelings got hurt; I get it.  CHEATING and such will destroy everything and if things continue after cheating something very bad will result.  No trust equals no relationship!  It will happen again.  So I bit my tongue because I knew things were difficult for the both of us and we don't always act as we should under that kind of pressure.  It's very important to understand how to argue even more important to know how to resolve an argument.  SHE finally came around to having our normal, playful conversations.  One day when we are both dead, SHE is going to want those months back.  I don't know how SHE felt but I wanted HER bad; still do.  We had phone play and it was awesome; it always is.  What a way to be there when you can't be there.  It's nice to be that turned on by that special somebody.  We should meet soon!  Man, our first in the flesh, lips to lips, hugging, touching and sexing and laughing and yessss.  I can't believe I am going to be face to face with my sexy lover, friend after three years of amazing.  I'm going to set it up.  Let's finally meet PRINCESS...

Up Up And Away...

     The worst thing anyone can do is take away YOUR happily ever after.  Especially when that person is SUPPOSED to love YOU.  I think it's dishonest not to express YOUR true feelings.  Can I get mad?  Of course I can get mad.  EVERYBODY gets mad.  If there's a person that you know that doesn't get mad, then YOU better drop them off with military officials so they can determine what other species they are.  I'm passionate about all of the important things in life.   It's definitely a plus and not a negative. If I love you, then I love YOU completely.  You will feel like the most special woman in the world.  I don't have time for ignorant cheating or looking.  If I choose you, then that means I want YOU.  It takes a lot to get me angry.  An example of things that are sure to boil me over is when there is a major lie.  Let me explain.  A major lie is a lie that has a direct effect on health, head or heart.  Lying about what color that YOU wore doesn't get me upset.  However, telling me that you were with your girlfriends and I find out that you were hanging out with a dude will do it.  Anyway, I came back from my interview and decided to take the new job.  It's more important for me to get established smoothly and I needed the relocation pay in order to do that effectively.  Not to mention that there will be a lot of opportunities because it's a growing company.  How do I tell HER?  Because, as much as SHE tries to act like SHE doesn't do the things SHE chastises me about, SHE can get mad and offensive and all that not so good stuff.  I guess I will just tell HER.  SHE has got to understand that it's not personal because it is not personal.  If you ever get a chance to know me, you will figure out soon that I am as honest as they come.  When I told HER that I decided to take the other job I made sure that I explained careful why.  SHE wasn't having it or hearing it.  SHE want to argue and go off on me.  I'm trying to do what's best and SHE decided to be very selfish and very cold.  SHE told me that it was stupid to change my mind at the last minute and that because I chose this job, we would never see each other and oh well.  What?  I expected HER to be happy for me and be adaptable because SHE said that SHE loved me.  I had every intention to come see HER just as soon as I could.  This really broke my heart.  I expected much more from HER but it didn' make me change my opinion of HER or condemn HER for HER actions.  I truly did get over this but, like I said, it hurt me pretty bad.  It took the wind right out of my sails.  I understand that people can let emotions get the better of them sometimes so I didn't dwell on it.  I just hopes SHE comes to HER senses and realizes that SHE was wrong.  SHE will be wrong again I am sure and so will I but if you love each other, this little stuff can be overlooked.  Just for your information, it wasn't the first time SHE overreacted and I know it won't be the last.  Conversations were a little rough during this time because SHE holds on to things way to long and when SHE says SHE'S over it, be ready to hear about it a few more times.  Even knowing all of that, I don't condemn HER.  In relationships, you have to see both sides clearly before YOU do something drastic.  There are some things that unforgivable like cheating and physical violence.  So I told my doctor and he said it was okay for me to leave early.  Thank GOD!  So now I am on my way to a new place on a new adventure and the woman that I love is not supporting me...

Damned If I do...

     The job that was within miles of HER came through.  They hired me and wanted me to start in several weeks.  All I had to do is get the okay from my doctor and I was golden.  During my next doctors appointment, he actually told me that he wanted me to stay in treatment for a couple of more weeks just as a precaution and he had no data stating that I must stay.  However, he said that if I acquired employment before his tentative date, then he would release me from treatment. COOL!  I thought that was very fair.  So I talked to HER about me getting the job and told HER what my start date would be.  SHE was really excited and so was I.  I am going to see my PRINCESS and pretty frequently.  I started getting in the mind frame of accepting my new job.  Then, I got an email from this other job.  They were a newer company with every benefit that I needed.  They also offered relocation money and the pay was great.  Another benefit they had over the job I was going to accept was the fact that it was a permanent job instead of a one year contract and let's see what happens kind of deal.  I guess it wouldn't hurt to see what they had to offer.  This new job said they would fly me out for an interview too.  What harm would that do?  I will just schedule it before I am supposed to leave.  I mean isn't that the smart thing to do?  I wanted to maximize my earning potential and maximize my benefits.  So I scheduled an interview the week before I was supposed to start work.  SHE wasn't thrilled about it but I have to do what's best for me, for us even.  My goal is to move closer to HER and I had told HER that regardless.  All I want is happily ever after with HER.  There are so many thing that I absolutely adore about HER.  He doesn't deserve HER because he doesn't respect HER nor does he love HER like a man loves and adores his wife.  SHE deserves that and I am certain SHE knows that I can give it to HER.  Well I got to catch a plane.  So I am going to fly out for an interview.  Over the phone, everything sounded great and if this company can deliver like advertised, then I would be a fool not to accept employment.  But, at the same time, I want to be closer to HER.  I hope SHE can support me no matter what I decide.  I have got to choose wisely.  I flew out and met my potential boss.  He seemed very knowledgeable and very trustworthy at the first impression.  i also found out that not only will I get more than enough for relocation, they will also provide FREE temporary housing for a month. Oh man I am torn.  I love HER so much and want HER so much.  But this is such a great opportunity.  I don't know if I can pass it up and I don't know how SHE will respond if I decide to take this job instead...